Her name is nuo, which
means ‘commitment’.
In China, each name
of ours has a special meaning and sometimes we even consider it as a sign of destiny.
After I was born, my parents felt that a single child would be lonely and it
would be miserable for me to play alone, so they hoped to have a baby girl to
be my company.
Unexpectedly, this
company has become my enemy.
Nuo was two years
younger than me, but twice as smart and twice as pretty than me. People who saw
us at first sight would say, “hmmm, Nuo is definitely the PhotoShop-version of
her brother.” This was true. Enlarging my eyes, making my face and mouth
smaller, my skin smoother and whiter, adding one dimple on the face, and putting
on long hair, that would be her.
She replied, “not
only me are photoshop-version of your face, everybody is.”
I was angry, “if you
were not my sister, I would..”
“Mum, he wants to hit
me. ” As usual, she escaped and sought protection from my mother even before I
had finished speaking.
We never lookd alike .
From primary to high school, she was like a shining campus star, and always invited
to sing or dance in different parties. She was so popular in our school that
nearly everybody knew her, and they would call me “Nuo’s brother” accordingly.
That was humiliating
to me. Only after every examination, my father would talk to her seriouly, “it’s
good that you are talented on singing and dancing, and we are also proud of
you, but study always comes first, you should learn from your brother...”
At this time, I would
laugh and pull a face to her, and of course, she would give me a black look
secretly.
Everytime when
relatives and friends visited us, she would act very cute and sweet, thus
receiving loads of compliments. We started to vie with each other for
everything, including TV remote, snacks, toys, and even toilet access.
A little sister? Just
a nuisance.
Everything changed
when I was in the third year of high school, Nuo was in first year.
She had grown up into
a beautiful and attractive girl, and received hundreds of love letters. One
day, I was busy in studying in the library, making ready for the college
entrance examination, when my mobile phone rang suddenly.
It was Nuo. She was
crying dowm the phone, and her voice was mixed with fear. Without any
hesitation, I ran to the resturant in just 10 minutes and had a fight with those
two harassers.
When we stepped out
of the hospital, I was wrapped like a half-mummy. She cried in my arms for the
first time, and for the first time she called me “old brother”.
On my birthday party,
when I caught her kissing with one of my best friends Feng, I started to
realize that Nuo was already a grown-up lady.
That night, I toasted
to Feng again and again. I was deeply drunk in the end, and the next day, I was
told that the whole night I repeated only one sentence to Feng for nearly 100
times, “Feng, never, never, never hurt her.”
However, after 3
months, they broke up. I held her in my arms and made a promise to myself, “I
will protect her for all my life.”
From then on, I seemd
to understand how to be an old brother and what are the responsibilities of a
man. I found a part time job, and tried to buy everything she liked with my
salary, and protect her like an old hen.
We used to share the same womb, the same home,
having the same family name. Everytime when I looked at her, I felt like I was
looking at another myself, another possiblity of my life. If possible, I would
give her everything I have.
In the winter of
1980, a young couple welcomed their new born son happily, and they committed to
give him a little sister to play with him, but with the one-child policy, they were
coerced into an abortion.
Nuo never existed in
the real world.
没有评论:
发表评论